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fivedayslater · 3 months ago
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Like Fine Wine: An Informal Study of Zoro/Sanji Side Pairings
I've been curious about which side pairings crop up the most alongside ZoSan, so I decided to look into it the only way I know how: AO3 tag usage
Come on this journey with me
Since people tag side pairings in either the Additional Tags section using the format Minor [Ship Tag] and in the Relationship Tags section alongside the main relationship pretty evenly, I decided the best way to go about this was to get both numbers and add them together. The way I got these numbers was by searching AO3 for works tagged with Roronoa Zoro/Sanji in the Relationship section and Minor [Ship Name] in the Additional Tags section, then with both Roronoa Zoro/Sanji and [Ship Name] in the Relationship section.
I am aware that this meant that I a) counted fics that were tagged in both the Relationship and Additional Tags sections twice, and b) counted those giant one-shot collections that tag every single ship featured even if they're only in one chapter (derogatory), which aren't quite what I'm looking for, but even so I feel this was the best way to go about it given the tools at my disposal.
As for which pairings to search, I went to the experts, aka Zoro/Sanji fic readers. I took suggestions from here, the ZoSan Club discord server, Twitter, and BlueSky. I also added the top 50 or so l tagged One Piece ships on AO3 that didn't involve Zoro or Sanji to see how they compared overall.
(Poly ships were excluded because most tagging on them also includes tagging every combination in the poly ship, and would have skewed the data)
It should also be noted that because of how this method functions, I also would have counted fics where Zoro/Sanji is tagged in the Relationships section, but is only a side pair to the main pairing. I deemed this acceptable, as the point of this quest is to see which ships go the most with Zoro/Sanji, and them being the side pairing counts. It also means that fics with these side pairings that don't have them tagged at all weren't counted, but there's not much I can do about that.
The results of all this?
Most everyone on every platform agreed that Franky/Robin, Nami/Vivi, Usopp/Kaya, and Luffy/Law were the most common. And the numbers agree:
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(purple is for the assumed top ships, green is for suggested ships, and blue is for AO3's top ships)
Here's everything broken down by which tags were searched:
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Here's the breakdown of what my Panel Of Experts (the people who replied) like to see alongside ZoSan:
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And here's the breakdown AO3's top ships
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What have we learned from this:
The pairings most popular with Zoro/Sanji tend to feature Straw Hats (Franky, Robin, Luffy, Nami, Usopp), or people who would reasonably be around the Straw Hats in an AU (Ace, Mihawk, Law, Sabo)
We as a community really need to standardize how we tag side ships. Considering writing up a Best Practices post. Will keep you posted
When everyone agrees, that's probably the right answer
I think Law/Luffy beating out Franky/Robin on the Relationship tags has to do with there simply being more Law/Luffy fic. It doesn't appear as a side pairing as much, but is often a main pairing alongside Zoro/Sanji, and a lot of Law/Luffy centric fics have Zoro/Sanji as a side pair
Doflamingo is very popular to ship around for some reason? He's in like 5 of the top 10 ships
Law is too, but like. I get that
Sabo too! Everyone really likes throwing Sabo at people
You are all so right about Kuina/Sabo though
There are pairings that made the list like Killer/Penguin and Crocodile/Dragon that I assume are very popular side pairings in like Kid/Law and Luffy centric fics, but don't have a lot of showing in Zoro/Sanji fic
More studies could be done into more specific breakdowns within each side pairing, and how often Zoro/Sanji appears as a side pairing with the other ship as a main pairing, but I don't want to. Maybe later
Mostly what I learned is that i have way too much time on my hands 👍
Still, maybe some of you are interested in the results too, in which case, you're welcome :)
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havesword · 1 year ago
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You ever see a meme or a video and think "I wish I could show this to my blorbo"
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glimmeringtwilight · 6 months ago
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Gilded Cage (Part Three)
ok. i'm not going to try to come up with a clever name for this one, this is just. part three. please send an ask or a DM if I missed any CW's! been a while.
Pairing(s): Dottore/Reader, Pantalone/Reader
Word Count: 3.6k
CW: NSFW, drugging (painkillers and other ment), rough sex, biting, threats of mutilation (mild. but it's Dottore), yandere themes, noncon/dubcon, AFAB reader, overstimulation, humiliation
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Dottore has been on edge lately. 
You can tell. You can see it in his jaw when he’s sedating you as you lie on the operating table, eyes burning and dark as he stares through you at something presumably only he can see. You can see it in the way his hand sometimes twitches slightly– which bodes terribly for you– as he makes a small incision into your thigh, or your stomach, or your arm.
Most of the time, you think he just cuts into you simply because he can. Because he likes to watch the blood welling from the wound, dripping down your skin. He’s been doing it a lot more lately, sometimes forgetting to sedate you, sometimes forgetting to give you something for the pain, sometimes cutting too deep.
It feels like there’s a storm brewing that you can’t see; curtains drawn so you can’t look out the window and see the magnitude, brace yourself for wind or rain.  
His clones seem to be affected by it, too; usually it’s only ever the younger clones of his that lash out, but even the supposedly older ones are starting to show signs of agitation. You haven’t seen the same test subject twice in what feels like weeks. All of them seem to enter and leave the lab only once– something that should horrify you more than it does, whenever you watch them wheeling the covered bodies past. 
It’s this way for weeks. Dottore stalks around his lab like a harbinger of death, practically oozing poison and malice despite the deceptively calm mask he dons. 
You find out what it is that’s been agitating him when he opens the door to your cell one morning. Not a clone. Not the occasional trembling Fatuus. Him. His eyes burn into you. You can’t make out the emotion in them, but the complete coolness in his expression makes your stomach sink. You wonder, briefly, if he’s going to finally kill you– would that be a mercy, at this point? Killing you? Perhaps not. Knowing him, he’d draw it out. Make it hurt. 
Still, despite the terror that curls its fingers around your throat, you follow him quietly out of the cell and into the lab, staring at the back of his head as you walk and wishing you could read minds so you could at least brace yourself for whatever this is.
The two of you enter the lab and you finally realize what it is that’s crawled under Dottore’s skin, sat at the desk in the corner as though he’s not terribly out of place in the sterile environment. 
Pantalone sits comfortably in one of the chairs near the desk Dottore rarely seems to use, smiling as though he’s received a warm welcome and a parade. Dottore, meanwhile, looks palpably annoyed as he strides past the banker and takes a seat behind the desk, motioning for you to follow. 
It’s… Intensely uncomfortable, to say the least. You rarely find yourself sitting at Dottore’s desk, considering the doctor usually prefers to be conducting experiments rather than sitting and compiling data; he usually delegates that to his clones, who bitch and moan about the boring task. 
So sitting in a chair, next to the two men who’ve each held you captive at different points, as Dottore practically radiates anger… You don’t know what to do. You fold your hands in your lap, avoiding looking at either one, even as you can feel the two of them just… staring. 
You feel like you’re under a microscope, worse than any other time before when you’d been laid out on the operating table under Dottore’s invasive prodding.
Pantalone speaks first, breaking the charged silence. 
“I take it you don’t mind if I verify that this one’s real,” He says, rising from his chair and smiling at the way Dottore visibly bristles. “After all, I’m paying for this, aren’t I? I deserve that much.”
It takes you a moment to realize he’s talking about you, and the demeaning way in which he’s referring to you as though you’re some object that might be counterfeit is both unnerving and irritating. You’re careful not to let it show on your face as Pantalone approaches you. 
“What-” You start to ask, but you’re swiftly interrupted by gloved fingers prying open your mouth, prodding around in search of something that isn’t there. You feel them press down on your tongue, ghost over molars, then press against the back of your throat until you gag. 
Somewhat satisfied, the banker pulls his fingers from your mouth and grips your chin firmly with a now-damp glove, turning your head this way and that and ignoring the obvious discomfort painted on your features as the action smears drool on your skin. What is he doing?
You shoot a glance towards Dottore, who is still just watching. He’s obviously pissed– you can see a vein popping in his forehead, belaying his anger on his otherwise blank face. 
Pantalone lets go of your chin in favor of grabbing you by the arms, pulling you up from your chair and motioning for you to spin around in a circle. You do, though you’re still confused, unsure of what’s happening as the banker seems to be appraising you like a precious gem. It’s a different type of poking and prodding than Dottore’s usual tests and checkups, but it’s invasive nonetheless. It’s doubly unsettling that this is the first time you’ve seen the banker without his usual smarmy smile. 
Hands find your shoulders and stop you again, and you bristle when they trace the curve of your spine, exposed thanks to the open back of the hospital gown. You feel them stop, tap something just to the left of one of your vertebrae, and Pantalone spins you back around to face him, clearly pleased. 
You try not to flinch when he takes a lock of your hair in his hands– it’s gotten so long since you’d been brought back to the lab– and brings it closer to his face. His nose crinkles, palpable disgust on his features, and he mutters something about “that vile soap he makes you use”– likely referring to Dottore– before turning around to face the man in question. 
“Are you done ogling?” Dottore asks, his tone clipped. You can’t see him around the banker, but you’re sure he still looks as pissed as before. 
Pantalone tilts his head slightly, smiling, then glances over his shoulder at you. “Perhaps not yet, but I’m satisfied enough for now. You’ll get the funding for your little… project, and I expect to see this one at my doorstep every other month from now on.”
Every other month? You frown. Is this some sort of… custody arrangement that the two men worked out? You don’t know if you want to laugh or not at the absurdity of it all; like you’re the unfortunate child of two divorced bastards, except this is much, much worse.
“Fine,” Dottore grits out, in a tone that suggests it’s anything but. He gets up to shoo the banker out of his lab, but Pantalone merely tuts and makes his way back over to where you’re standing, confused, and rests one hand heavily on your shoulder.
“One month starting today, of course,” Pantalone continues, “It’s only fair, after all, when you’ve been hoarding my poor pet this whole time. I have to make up for lost time, after all.”
He delivers those words with a smile that only seems to irritate Dottore further, red eyes boring holes into him as Dottore visibly seems to be contemplating murder. Pantalone speaks up again before he does anything, however, offering a hollow consolation: “Of course, I’m not cruel. How about a farewell? A parting gift, to… tide you over while they’re gone?”
You don’t like the sound of that, and Dottore seems to pick up on the banker’s suggestion as you’re spun around once more and ushered towards the exam table you’ve become intimately familiar with for the last several months. 
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For this supposedly being Dottore’s “parting gift,” Pantalone is awfully remiss to keep his hands– and commentary– to himself. 
“Ah, what a cute noise that was,” You hear him coo, a finger tapping your nose with just enough force to startle you so you flinch, “Don’t you think you’re being a bit rough though, Doctor?”
“Quiet.”
You jostle against the table, gripping the edge of it for support as hips snap into yours with bruising force. Dottore’s fingers are gripping your hips so tightly you’re sure they’ll leave bruises– that’s probably the point, honestly; he’s fucking you like he intends for you to feel it for the entire month you’ll be absent. 
Pantalone’s comments aren’t helping things either; despite the banker’s comment about roughness, it only seems to have encouraged the doctor to go even harder. 
Thankfully, you were given something for the pain, but not from Dottore. Pantalone had pressed a pill into your gasping mouth when Dottore had started, telling you that you were going to need it, and though swallowing was a struggle, you’re glad he did. 
Dull pain and sharp pleasure mingle together, and you’ve long since lost track of the orgasms that have been dragged out of you. You’re starting to numb, honestly, overstimulation bleeding into pain, and you gasp into the table with every sharp thrust into you. 
“Tsk– don’t pass out now,” Pantalone chides, fingers curling around your jaw and biting into your cheeks when your eyes threaten to flutter shut, and Dottore snarls something about cutting your spinal cord if you do; something you sincerely hope is an empty threat, given the black spots dancing in your vision. “You still have another thirty minutes to go.”
You don’t remember there being a timer set, much less a time limit, but you certainly know you can’t last that much longer. Your knees have already long since given out, and Dottore had to hoist you up further onto the table so he could continue, leaving your feet dangling a few inches above the ground. 
You feel weight against your back, heat, smothering you as Dottore leans down to sink his teeth into your shoulder as he spills inside you once more, and you shudder through another weak orgasm in response, your eyes rolling back and your vision blacking out for several long moments. 
Pantalone shakes you back awake before you can slip too far, and you sob as Dottore starts to move again. You already know that you won’t be able to walk for the next few days, if not for the next week. 
Tears blur your vision, the world spinning around you as a gloved hand comes to rest against your head, petting you in what’s likely intended as a comforting gesture but only seems to frazzle you further, overwhelmed and overstimulated as you are. 
It must be Pantalone, because Dottore lets out an irritated noise, sinking his teeth into your skin to leave a new mark as he resumes the harsh pace he’d set earlier. Another hand, this one not gloved, curls around your throat to dig two fingers into your racing pulse as he tries to engrave himself into your flesh through means slightly less violent than cutting you open. 
You can barely keep track of who’s doing what– your vision is too blurred and you’re too far gone to fully piece together a coherent thought before it and the breath are knocked out of you by another snap of Dottore’s hips. One of them reaches down to rub circles into sensitive nerves, and you sob as another climax is ripped unwillingly out of you. 
You black out for longer this time, shaken awake once more by Pantalone. He’s cooing something at you that you can’t make out, drowned out by the rush of blood in your ears and the sound of Dottore’s ragged breaths mixing in with your own. 
It feels like you’re burning up, shivering weakly under Dottore’s crushing weight as the man seems to be pouring every ounce of frustration into his thrusts, and darkness encroaches on the corners of your vision with every movement. 
Another shuddering orgasm. You twitch weakly through it, your body registering the sensation more than your mind does. 
The world seems to tip, swaying like a vessel rocked by choppy waves before finally capsizing. Your vision goes, and you’re pulled into a sea of static. 
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It smells like lilacs. 
It’s the first thing you notice when you slowly come to, a stark contrast to the smell of bleach and copper that you’ve become accustomed to. You’re also dressed in some proper clothes– or rather, ”proper,” compared to the usual paper-thin hospital gowns you’ve worn since being brought back to the lab. 
Opening your eyes, you’re greeted with the familiar luxuries you remember seeing when you were last in Pantalone’s care, and the sight would nearly be a relief if consciousness didn’t bring with it the unbearable ache in every inch of your body. There’s a budding headache building behind your temples, stinging pains from various bites and bruises littering your skin like brands.
It aches most between your legs, but there’s an ache in your thighs and your stomach like you’d pulled every muscle within; you probably did, honestly, but you try to push back the memory invading your thoughts and you sit up in bed. 
“You’re awake,” A silky voice drawls from behind you just as you sit up, and you turn around to see Pantalone sitting in an armchair in the corner, one leg folded over the other as he reads a book. He doesn’t look up as he addresses you; he just pats his knee, indicating he expects you to come to him. You’re not sure you can walk…
Climbing out of the soft bed hurts, various muscles protesting the movement, and you’re not surprised when your knees give out on you the second you rest your weight on your feet. Pantalone simpers at you from where he sits, amused, but he makes no move to help you stand up or walk. He just pats his thigh again, smiling at you. 
“I can’t walk,” Even talking hurts, evidenced by the crackling of your voice when you speak. 
“Then crawl.”
He says it so simply, as though you should have already known the answer. Your ears burn with humiliation. You don’t move.
“Don’t make me punish you on your first day back,” He says, setting his book down so he can properly address you. His tone is disappointed, but you don’t miss the way the bastard’s smile widens at the idea. 
Pantalone’s punishments aren’t nearly as severe as Dottore’s are, at least in terms of pain. Rather than physical punishments, he seems to prefer humiliation. You’re tempted to try your luck, but… everything hurts. You don’t want him to decide you haven’t earned the privilege of clothes– or find something equally humiliating and degrading– on top of the pain you’re already in.
Crawling hurts. Every muscle protests the movement, yet again, but you force yourself to ignore the aches, to ignore the humiliation burning beneath your skin at being made to crawl over to him. 
When you finally reach him you sit up unsteadily so you can climb into his lap, but you’re surprised when he stops you by pressing a gloved hand firmly against your head to keep you planted on your knees in front of him. 
Instead of addressing your confusion, Pantalone merely smiles and takes hold of your wrist, raising your arm to inspect the scars and bruises littering your skin from the months spent under Dottore’s care. His face twists with disgust, shifting into faux sympathy when he addresses you again, “Poor thing. Look what he’s done to you…”
His free hand comes to rest on his knee as he straightens up, uncrossing his legs, and you hear a steady tap tap tap as he drums his index finger against his knee thoughtfully. “Aren’t you glad I’ve brought you back from that wretched place?”
It’s a leading question. You know he expects you to answer correctly, and you get the sense he’s leading into something; a demand. “...Yes.”
“I knew you would be.” He says, dropping your wrist and leaning back comfortably in the armchair. He looks down at you, clearly pleased with the position you’re in. He props one elbow against the arm of the chair, resting his head in his hand as he smiles down at you. “Why don’t you be a good pet and show me just how appreciative you are?”
The implication isn’t lost on you, but whatever hope you’d had that he might mean something else is dashed as he spreads his legs slightly further apart to make room for you between them, and you don’t miss the growing bulge in his dress pants. 
Your hands are numb as you reach for his belt, and you barely flinch when his hand rests heavily against the back of your hand as you take him into your mouth. 
One cage for another. You’re not even sure you’re relieved, because every part of you still aches from the reminders Dottore had left you with. 
His hand presses against the back of your head, guiding you to take him further into your mouth, and you struggle to breathe around his length. You nearly gag as he pushes you down further, pushing back in resistance, and Pantalone clicks his tongue in disappointment but thankfully, lets up. Maybe he doesn’t want to ruin his pants. 
“I’ll get you something for the scarring,” He murmurs, fingers curling in your hair as you bob your head up and down his length. “And those garish bruises.”
Whether it’s an insult towards you or Dottore, you’re not sure. You try not to focus on it, instead focusing on the task at hand. You lave your tongue along the base of his shaft, earning a small shiver and a heady sigh from him. 
He’s silent for a few minutes as you continue to pleasure him, but you feel him boring holes into the top of your head. You don’t look up at him; you don’t want to. You’re trying to get this over with, and hoping that his silence means you’re doing well. 
The hand on the top of your head leaves, and you flinch when you feel him trace his fingers over one of the scabbed over bites left by Dottore, nearly biting down in surprise. You swallow, suppress the urge, resuming your pace even as he traces the outline of every bite left littered along your neck, your collarbone, your shoulders.
Pantalone straightens up a little, pressing his hand against the back of your head again to force you to take more than you already can. This time, he doesn’t relent when you push back, just holding his hand still until you stop whimpering and you manage to swallow back the urge to gag. 
“Hush.” He tells you in response to your muffled noises, groaning quietly at the way your throat vibrates around his cock.
You eventually relax, eventually get used to the feeling, and he lets you pull back slightly before he’s pressing down again, repeating until tears are spilling down your cheeks as you struggle not to reflexively bite down each time you gag slightly around his length. 
“How would you feel about something… permanent?” He asks, and his fingers are tracing the bites again. You try to pull back to answer, but his other hand stops you and he rocks his hips lazily into your mouth. A rhetorical, then; he doesn’t care for your answer.
You try to blink back your tears as you resume the pace you’d set, sucking lightly on his cock as his hand curls into your hair. It’s hard to focus on what he’s saying as his hand keeps threatening to force you down farther than you can take, and you’re focusing on stamping down the swelling nausea. 
“Something- hm-” He hums, and you can tell he’s getting close now, with the way his breathing is starting to deepen, his hand tightening its hold on your hair- “something tasteful. Not like those eyesores he leaves you. A collar is- fuck- too… too easy to remove.”
You don’t like where this is going, but humming your dissent only earns you a pleasured hiss and a rumble of praise spilling from his lips before he’s curling his fingers around the back of your neck. 
It’s the only warning you get before he shoves your head down, holding you there as cum spills into your mouth and down your throat. It takes everything in you to relax your jaw, and you pull back gasping and sputtering the second he relents.
By the time your vision clears and you blink back the tears spilling from your eyes, he’s already tucked himself back into his pants and is just watching you struggle to catch your breath. He doesn’t even comment on the mess of cum and drool that spilled from your lips onto the floor. 
It takes you a second to realize he’s not staring at you, but rather at the marks left on your skin. 
After a minute of tense silence, he smiles again, patting his lap this time in invitation for you to sit, and you ignore the familiar sting of humiliation as you obey. Again, one of his hands curls around the nape of your neck, tracing some pattern into your skin. 
“Right here,” He murmurs, though he doesn’t elaborate when your brows pinch together in confusion.
It takes you a second to realize he’s tracing invisible letters across your nape, then another few to realize it’s his name that he’s tracing into your skin. 
Something tells you that Dottore isn't going to be pleased to see you again at the end of the month.
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lacrimosathedark · 9 months ago
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Bat-Family Nicknames and Insults
So I went off the other day because fans keep having people who aren't Roy Harper call Jason Todd "Jaybird" and now I'm thinking about all the other nickname misconceptions so here's a probably non-comprehensive list of nicknames among the Bat Fam.
(Special thanks to @sohotthateveryonedied for a bunch of my data, she made a whole powerpoint with actual comic panels! Go check that out! Also got some info from @kiragecko who was writing some lists with more specific references.)
This list is an active document and will be edited in the event I find more nicknames or have more to say
Addendum note: I'm more than willing to add something I forgot, but you must have receipts. I'm not just going off of memory. Nothing will be added to this list without proof. If you don't have a source, please don't make a suggestion.
This is aside from assorted common insults and nicknames like jerk, ass, shorty, dude, idiot, etc.. Sidenote, every not-Steph Robin has been called “Little Bird”, “Birdboy” and/or “Wonder Boy” at some point. It’s kinda part of the job lol Secondary side-note, the only ones who REALLY use nicknames for people are Barbara and Jason. And Tim specifically in reference to Damian. Everyone else pretty much uses their names 98% of the time. Final note (sorryyyyyy) generally unless they're funny to me, I'm not including things used only once unless I have gotten vibes that it's a trend. This is an attempt to compile recurring nicknames. So ones noted to be used once are either I can only confirm it happened once but could happen multiple times, or I think it's hilarious.
Alfred Pennyworth
Al/Alf Seems to be a common nickname among the boys.
Alfie Dick, Tim, and Jason have all called him this.
Alfredo Jason called him this at least once and I think that’s funny. Not sure it’s exclusive though.
Mom Dick seems to have referred to him as such once…I’m sorry but that’s so funny.
Alfred also has specific ways of referring to everyone: Bruce: Master Bruce, Mister Wayne, Lad, Bruce, My Son Barbara: Mistress Barbara, Miss Barbara, Miss Gordon, Miss Oracle Dick: Master Dick, Master Richard, Master Grayson, Dear Boy, Young Sir, Young Man, Richard, Dick Cassandra: Miss Cassandra, Young Cassandra, My Dear Jason: Master Jason, Young Sir, Lad, Jason Tim: Master Tim, Master Timothy, Young Master Tim, Lad, Young Sir, Young Man, Timothy, Tim Damian: Master Damian, Young Master Damian, Young Sir, Young Man, Son, Damian
Bruce Wayne
Spooky Oliver Queen calls him this, others might as well but I legitimately have no idea.
Batsy Everyone and their goddamn dog, but Joker uses this notably a lot.
Detective RA'S AL GHUL EXCLUSIVE. I think? But this is how Ra's generally refers to Bruce.
B-Man HARLEY QUINN EXCLUSIVE...I think. She calls him this a lot though.
While Dick and Jason will internally think of Bruce as their father, Dick rarely says so and extremely rarely calls him “Dad”. Jason would only say so mockingly or under pain of a second death. Tim rarely even thinks of Bruce as his father (he didn’t become Robin to be Bruce’s kid, and he doesn’t want to replace his own father—much the same way Dana didn’t replace Janet) and never refers to him as such outside of WE work (where he very much uses that to his advantage). Damian almost exclusively refers to Bruce as “Father” but has called him "Dad". Steph sometimes calls him “Boss”. Everyone usually calls him "Bruce".
He refers to ALL of the boys as “chum” and “lad” at some point. It’s just how he used to talk honestly. He DOES NOT call them “sweetie” or “honey” or anything like that. He DOES, however, speak to small children this way. There are multiple instances of him using "sweetheart" and similar terms when dealing with young children. This differentiation I think is for two reasons. One, Bruce is emotionally stunted and being open with anyone outside of actively comforting is difficult for him, and two, the youngest child he has ever had himself was 9 years old so he's never had a small child he'd be likely more inclined to be extra super soft with.
Barbara Gordon
Babs Most people call her this. Bruce doesn’t seem to though, oddly enough.
Babsy/Babsie Both Dick and Jim Gordon have called her this. Very cute.
Barb/Barbie Nearly exclusive to Jason Todd, actually. I think her dad calls her this once in a while, but specifically Jason calls her this.
Babes A few of her friends call her this, but mostly Luke Fox when they were dating.
Red A few people call her this, but mostly Jason and not real often. Probably cuz we already have a red-head often referred to as “Red” (Pam Isely by Harley) and as to not be confused with the other two Reds in the family (Red Hood and Red Robin).
The High Priestess of Tech More of a reference than a nickname, but I think it’s funny. Dick referred to her as such.
O For Oracle!
Dick Grayson Exclusives because Boyfriend Baby Love Beautiful
Richard Grayson
Dick Everyone calls him this. Almost no one calls him Richard.
Dickie His parents also called him this, along with other people who knew him from Haly’s Circus, but otherwise it’s mostly just Jason.
Dickster I…hate that this is canon lmao. Dick has thought this one in his inner monologue, but Jason has also said it at least once. It’s…Something.
Circus Boy Common insult, Jason uses it a few times.
Tight Ass No comment.
Rob Kinda rare for him and more a Tim thing, but his Titans team call him this sometimes. I specifically remember Wally doing so, and Roy too I think.
Boy Wonderful Not marking this as exclusive because Babs probably used it at one point but, shockingly (or not) this comes from Wally West! Wally has also called his Titans team as a group “Dear Hearts” at least once which is just so fucking cute. Neeeeeerd.
Kid Not exclusive to him, but consistently called this by Slade Wilson/Deathstroke over most anything else.
Marcia TIM DRAKE EXCLUSIVE. A joke between him and Tim, assigning each Bat-boy a Brady Bunch member.
Little Robin MARY GRAYSON EXCLUSIVE. This is where the hero name Robin came from; Dick’s mom used to call him this.
Dickie-Bird JASON TODD EXCLUSIVE. Jason calls Dick this a lot during his weird appearances in Nightwing that I pretend never happened because it was weird and dumb. But it is a canonical nickname. And it’s funny.
Amy Rohrbach Exclusives because Partner Rookie Stud Cowboy Sherlock Mr. Confident
Barbara Gordon Exclusives because Girlfriend (and because she’s funny) Flatterer Boyfriend The Brightest, Sweetest, Most Handsome, Wealthiest Young Bachelor on the Entire East Coast Buckaroo Bucko Candy-Gram Darling Lover Love Hunk Wonder Man Wonder Hound Wonder Former Teen Wonder Twenty Something Wonder Blue Wonder Poor Lovable Naïve Dope Pixie Boots
Cassandra Cain
Cass Pretty much everyone calls her this.
Cassie Some people call her this, specifically the people closest to her; Stephanie, Tim, Barbara, Bruce, and Duke. It’s generally used sparingly, especially considering Tim is close to ANOTHER Cassandra who goes by “Cassie” almost exclusively, so Cass is generally preferred to avoid confusion. But Cassie is tossed around.
Batghoul Possibly Stephanie Brown exclusive, though easy enough that I wouldn’t be surprised if others called her that. She is notoriously spooky.
Bat-Babe KON-EL/CONNER KENT EXCLUSIVE. These two are actually good friends and dated for a short time. They’re very cute. And they met at the time Kon was just…Like That.
Jason Todd
Jay Literally everyone calls him this sometimes. It’s a common nickname.
Jace/Jase Also pretty common, but seems to mostly be among family. Dick and Bruce have at least both called him this.
The Toddster Was called such by Danny Chase, implying they were friends somehow? (Jason didn't have many Titans missions so idk how they were close enough for him to call him that). He calls him that when he discovers Jason’s status in the system is “unknown”, leading him to find out he’s dead.
Rojo Referred to himself as this once while he was still a crime boss, so presumably some of his gang called him this too. Obviously Spanish for red because Red Hood.
Little Bird Possibly exclusive to Barbara Gordon, she called him this in a flashback.
Jan That Dick and Tim Brady Bunch joke. Just imagine one of them looking Jason dead in the eye and saying “Sure, Jan.”
Little Wing DICK GRAYSON EXCLUSIVE. Called Robin Jason this in Nightwing Year 1 and it’s very cute.
Jaybird ROY HARPER EXCLUSIVE. The reason I’m making this post because no one seems to remember that Roy and only Roy has ever called Jason this. But any time these two appear together, it’s usually said at least once.
Stephanie Brown
Steph Pretty much everyone calls her this at one point.
Stephie A few people if I recall, but I know Tim’s called her that.
Blondie Pretty sure a few people call her this, but notably Harper Row.
Damian Wayne Exclusives because He Was A Brat Wench Fatgirl Girl Blunder
Timothy Drake
Tim Everyone to the point where it’s just his name.
Timmy A lot of people call him this pretty teasingly. Dick, Jason, and Babs do it consistently, but that’s older siblings for ya. Bernard has done it too.
Timbo Dick and Jason as well as his friend Ives have called Tim this at the very least. Tim notably doesn't seem to like it, though he has used it himself in a derogatory way in his inner monologue.
Timbers I’ve only ever seen Jason call him this, but I could be missing things. Would not be surprised if Dick did too, but it’s very Jason.
Rob Most of Young Justice called him that up until he revealed his name (which took a while because Bruce was being controlling and overprotective, as he does). Short for “Robin”, obviously, which is all they knew him as.
My Robin I’m pretty sure each member of Young Justice has said this about Tim, though Conner does it the most and has the biggest negative reaction to literally anyone but Tim being Robin.
Cindy DICK GRAYSON EXCLUSIVE. It’s that Brady Bunch joke again!
Little Brother DICK GRAYSON EXCLUSIVE. I didn't originally include it because it had the same vibes as like "dude" or "jerk"; something that's easily tossed around, y'know? And it feels like a descriptor, but it is actually used as a title/nickname several times, especially when Dick is messing with Tim.
Pretender JASON TODD EXCLUSIVE. Though it should be noted, he only directly called him this one time. Aside from that, he more refers to Tim as A pretender, not as like a nickname or title. It’s a description. (like “replacement” was but fandom made that a nickname yes I am in fact bitter)
Duckboy HARLEY QUINN EXCLUSIVE. She says this once, but it’s hilarious so I’m keeping it.
Detective RA’S AL GHUL EXCLUSIVE. Ra’s is very particular about titles. The only other person he refers to as “Detective” is Bruce, and Dick one time in his internal monologue, so he is acknowledging Tim’s competence. And then proceeds to get a large portion of his resources obliterated by Tim <3
Stephanie Brown Exclusives because Girlfriend Sweetie Muffin Boy Virgin
Duke Thomas
Narrows Almost Jason exclusively, though I think Harper has called him this once or twice. In reference to the neighborhood he grew up in, as opposed to Jason and Harper's Park Row aka Crime Alley upbringing.
Newbie Jason calls him this frequently, though it's likely the others have too.
Baby Bird ELAINE THOMAS EXCLUSIVE. Yeah, surprisingly Duke is actually called this by his mom.
Damian Wayne
Gremlin Mostly exclusive to Tim, but Jason has called him this too. This also seems to be Tim’s go-to for Damian when not using his name or codename.
Dami Used by Jon Kent and Talia al Ghul, so presumably those closest to him.
Little D I think Barbara Gordon exclusive but I’m not sure.
Cousin Oliver Not said to his face to my knowledge, but the Brady Bunch in-joke between Dick and Tim.
Prince/Your Highness (other royal variations) A common way to mock Damian for his haughty air and stuck-up attitude. More common in the past because Damian was The Worst and never shut up about being the heir to Batman and the Demon's Head. He's grown a lot since then and this kind of joke is used less. He is still pretty snooty though.
D JON KENT EXCLUSIVE. I have yet to see anyone else call him this at least, and this is how Jon almost always refers to him.
Baby Bird TALIA AL GHUL EXCLUSIVE. I’ve seen her call him this once, and I don’t recall ever seeing anyone else call him this. Just wanted it known that Talia is the only one to call Damian this.
Tim Drake Exclusives because Tim is Petty and Damian was a Brat Little Monster Hobbit Homunculus Little snot Spoiled, vicious and homicidal little punk Heir to the Kingdom of the Damned
Note on how Damian refers to others: Damian usually uses full first names or surnames, depending on circumstance and closeness. He occasionally calls Dick “Dick” or “Richard”, but often calls him “Grayson”. He almost always refers to Tim as “Drake”, but occasionally as “Timothy”.
Fanon names that I dislike
Replacement Jason never once calls Tim this, and refers to Tim as A replacement about as much as Dick did about Jason (Yes Dick has at least once when talking to Bruce referred to Jason as his replacement). How common it is in this fandom to call Tim "Replacement" (with a capital R like it's a name or title!!!) drives me absolutely insane. It's not canon and tbh you can do better. Hell, "pretender" is right there! And Jason's a nerd, he would do better.
Baby Bird Like…it’s cute, but given it’s used in fanon almost exclusively for Tim, and POST DAMIAN, it just feels infantalizing. Especially when the only canon uses are mothers towards their kids. I see this a lot with Dick and Jason using it, which is...just no. Like, Dick, I get it, but he's more likely to call Tim "Little Brother". Jason would never allow himself to be seen as this soft to Tim. If he were trying to be gentle with him, he'd probably call him "kid". He's done that before.
Baby Bat(s) I have seen this used literally twice. Once where a goon mockingly called Tim that, and once in an AU where Harley said it to Damian. "Baby Bat" isn't a thing. Sorry.
Big Bird More amusing than anything but a little annoying. No one ever calls Dick that in canon and whenever I read it all I can think of is Sesame Street so unless a giant yellow muppet bird is what you're going for, maybe don't do that lol
Demon Brat/Demon Spawn Not the most egregious thing, especially considering the numerous nicknames Tim comes up with, but the consistency of its usage in fanon is a little frustrating. This is never used in-canon, and if you want to use it in your fanworks, just maybe intersperse it with other more creative nicknames, yeah? It's just unoriginal at this point.
Jaylad I don’t hate this one, but it’s such a huge misconception that it’s canon. Bruce has said “Jay, lad” a couple times because he calls like every boy he meets “lad” and people made up “Jaylad”. Not the worst thing ever, but it's not canon.
Golden Boy I don't actually have a problem with this one, but I may as well clear up that this is canon as a descriptor but not as a nickname for Dick. Like calling Jason "the dead Robin". Like, people have said that about him in-canon, but they haven't called him that. The common derivative "Goldie" is entirely fanon.
Non-canon nicknames I think are funny
Dick-face/Dickhead I’m sorry, I find it hilarious whenever someone (usually Jason) in fanfic calls him this. It’s also to me just a silly exaggeration of the obvious joke that has been made at least once (but probably several times by now) in canon about someone being about to call Nightwing a dick and someone else reminding them not to use names in the field. I think it’s hilarious.
Timberly I can’t tell you why this specific deviation of Tim is funny to me but it is. And I'm surprised I haven't seen Jason call Tim this in canon.
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katyspersonal · 3 months ago
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The best Bloodborne Wiki is a passion project of a single person, is about to get even better + how it can be sustained for years to come!
Hello guys! So like many of you've learned from the post with super good model view of Winter Lantern, recently, on Twitter, Meph announced ( x ) the plan to fill the wiki with very useful, very comprehensive screenshots of the models for bosses, enemies, NPCs and even cut content! The wiki has already been a huge help for lorediggers and artists, but THIS is what we will get:
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This page is for Lady Maria and you can check it yourself here: ( x )! It is broken down in the categories of general close-ups of her model, then very high-quality screenshots of every attack during her boss battle and walking, and then raw model!
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(I never was able to capture a good look at her using Arcane too like here, for example!)
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Winter Lantern page ( x ) is using similar principle!
This is not a secret that very often in Fromsoft games, additional information can be obtained not through descriptions but through visual hints! For example, some people only learned that Winter Lantern's head is made of melted Messengers only now, after a proper look at her model! So, of course getting a proper look at every single character and creature from the game could always be helpful!
This, however, is just a recent highlight for this Bloodborne Wiki! Even prior that, it has been providing invaluable help for the fans! Examples off the top of my head: comprehensive data on what character has what items used or not, great and comprehensive hints and tutorials on upgrades and farming and builds for the players, making every bit of information on Chalice Dungeons and glyphs easily accessible, making datamined NPC sliders of all characters way more accessible and easy to grab and repeat, access to much more obscure models (like Gratia's model), full list of internal filenames and patches progress, making information from physical Bloodborne tutorial book accessible...
There are probably more things to cover that me and others found a great help in, and sometimes we might not even notice! I am sure many people could name at least one way where this wiki has been very helpful, offering raw facts and 100% valid information (and properly sourced whenever someone else helped!) without any speculating, in the most elaborate manner! We should not take it for granted because all this information, found or reshared, was compiled by just one guy out of raw passion for the game! And although this project is not profit-based and Meph is willing to commit to it and pay as much as needed to keep it living, I really still wanted to share the Ko-fi link that exists for anyone who is willing to help sponsoring it!
This is not necessary, and Meph has stated the same, but this project is not only helpful but also really hefty to sustain. The monthly support is only $3 per month, but every little bit not only helps the sustenance, but also knowing how much fans care and simply feeling their support is very significant and sometimes you don't even know how much. Heck, when Meph learned how excited people on Tumblr were about Wiki improving with full compilation of models from every angle.. the reaction was "I am so glad that people still care"! I think everyone who does their best to be useful for the fellow fans needs confirmation that they ARE, for sure, helping!
I just really wanted to get the word out anyways because honestly, none of my super elaborate theories and detailed fanart would've been possible without Meph's Wiki. and also because I am trapped in a clown country where I can't send any international money transfer so the feeling of 'do what I can't' got to me too fsdhfdhs There is no pressure or necessity, but here is the link to anyone who can help and feels the wish to! You've noticed I didn't tag Meph.... since there is no Tumblr account to tag, but again, the Twitter link is also here: ( x )!
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bad268 · 3 months ago
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Heyy I love your Kimi fics so I decided to send you in a request. I wanted something simples of their life’s as teenagers with very different livings yk. Maybe compilation of different moments of them together such as: she is on school brake so goes to a race with him, he keeps her secret of course but as just an excuse to pass more time together. Or maybe a glimpse of their nightly routine when they get to be together, like ordering food because any of them trusts the other with the stove and then getting ready to bed and just cuddle. Or also like they want to pass time together but she has a test (they probably study in the same school but Kimi just doesn’t care anymore) and he is simply laid in her bed reviewing his data from racing while she is in her desk studying. I think you understood the idea, just some cute fluff of two teens in love. Use your amazing creativity as much as you want, I’ve read a lot of your fanfics and I trust you I’ll make justice to a cute fluff. I hope you enjoy my idea.
Just A Glimpse (Andrea Kimi Antonelli X Reader)
Fandom: RPF/F2/F3
Requested: Clearly (hehe this was fun to do)
Warnings: ADHD mentioned, talks about smacking pasta if that makes you uncomfortable (i guess)
POV: Second Person (You/your)
W.C. 1109
Summary: Just a glimpse into the life of Kimi and you.
As always, my requests are OPEN
MASTERLIST // HITLIST
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~~(^Pinterest)
Your relationship started back when neither of you knew what love was. Back when you were naive 16-year-olds, you and Kimi connected because you were from the same area. Back then, Bologna, Italy was not the biggest area, and you two clung together like magnets. It became a running joke when he came back to racing after a midseason break, glued to his phone, that he found someone. 
That someone was you.
As your relationship progressed, you tried to be at as many races as possible, but when he first made the jump from FRECA to Formula 2, then Formula 1 at age 18, it wasn’t that easy. You were just starting in university, and it was already difficult to attend the 14 race weekends. Never mind the 25 they were making F1 drivers do. Still, you tried your best, and Kimi was always supportive of your ambitions.
He also tried his best to keep you hidden, Sure, he talked about you here and there, but he never named you and never posted you. He wanted you to have the privacy to do your school work in peace without being bombarded by fans. You two decided you would probably announce your relationship when you finished your degree. If you decided to continue higher after that, you’d either do it online or suffer with the newfound attention. Granted, your accounts were private, but you still knew the fans would spam you somehow.
One of your favorite things to do is hide away in Kimi’s driver’s room. It was a common occurrence that you would be studying while Kimi was preparing for a race. More often than not, you would be sat on the couch studying or working on assignments while Kimi is either reviewing data or stretching and getting ready for a session. On the rare chance Kimi had nothing to do, he would ask you a million and one questions about your work.
“What’s this essay about?” “That looks difficult.” “Didn’t you just finish a project for that class?” “That seems a bit much for a basic class.” Those were some of the things he would say whenever he looked over your shoulder as you skimmed anything on your computer. His interest always gave you new motivation to keep going.
Another favorite for you was the nights between races. The nights when neither of you had anything to do other than be with each other. Sometimes you would force Kimi to do face masks with you (skin care is essential!), sometimes you two would try to cook, sometimes you would just cuddle, and in the event you do all three, all hell breaks loose. 
“Stop moving so much,” You hissed annoyed that this boy could not sit still for the life of him and let you put the mask on. You had already struggled enough trying to get all of his curly hair back, but now he was flinching away every time you tried to put the product on his skin. “I swear, you have ADHD.”
“It’s cold, and I don’t like it. This one feels weird,” He groaned but stopped moving and let you do your thing. “Why do we need to do the slimy one? Can we just use the clay one again?”
“Your skin needs hydration, not help with the texture,” You explained as you laid the mask across his features. “Your face is inflamed and the clay mask will just make it worse. This one would actually benefit you.”
“I better get cuddles after this,” He mumbled as you finished up by washing your hands. Your mask had already been applied.
“After we make dinner, you can get all the cuddles you want,” You compromised, thinking dinner would not take too long to make. It was a new pasta recipe you got from Kimi’s nutritionist, and Kimi is Italian. What could go wrong? Those were your famous last words.
“Stop smacking the dough! The flour isn’t mixed right!” You shouted, but it was no use. Kimi walked straight up behind you and smacked the dough pile again just after you added more flour. This caused a cloud of flour to hit the two of you directly in the face. “ANDREA!”
“Oh no,” He muttered after he blew out the flour and went to wipe his face, but his hands got covered in the face mask he still had on. “Oh no.”
“‘Oh no’,” You mocked as you gaped at him. “What did I just say?”
“Stop smacking it,” He tried to sound serious and apologetic, but the smile on his face told that he was amused by the situation. 
“And what did you do?”
“Smacked it.”
“What did you learn?”
“Stop smacking pasta when you’re mixing it.”
That was it. You both couldn't help it as you both started laughing.
You made Kimi clean up the kitchen after you both washed off the floury face masks. You told him that since he got you into that mess, he could clean it up. While he did that, you called and ordered your favorite takeaway. You did not trust Kimi in the kitchen anymore. You went to pick it up, and when you came back, Kimi had cleaned the kitchen and set up a blanket fort in the common room. You chuckled to yourself as you walked up to the opening of the fort, but Kimi blocked you from entering. 
“What’s the password?” Kimi smirked as he only exposed his head and would not let you see inside.
“Is it Italian or English?” You countered.
“To make it easy, I’ll accept English,” Kimi teased as he watched you think.
“Hmm, the password has to be, ‘I bought dinner, and if you want to eat tonight, you better let me in.’ Is that right?”
“Actually, it was ‘I love you’ but I’ll take it.”
The inside of the fort was more than you expected. Kimi had moved the TV down, so it fit inside. There were pillows and blankets everywhere, and your favorite drinks were in an ice bucket to the side. You were impressed he was able to get this all done while you were picking up the food.
“How did you get this done? I wasn’t gone that long,” You asked skeptically as you sat down and looked around.
“You walk slow,” Kimi joked, but immediately after, the door slammed closed and someone texted Kimi.
“I better get credit for helping,” It read from Ollie. You looked over at Kimi who was smiling sheepishly at you.
“Want to comment on that?”
“No, not really.”
That’s just a little glimpse into the life of you and Kimi.
~~~~~
© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.
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mostlysignssomeportents · 7 months ago
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Humans are not perfectly vigilant
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I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me in BOSTON with Randall "XKCD" Munroe (Apr 11), then PROVIDENCE (Apr 12), and beyond!
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Here's a fun AI story: a security researcher noticed that large companies' AI-authored source-code repeatedly referenced a nonexistent library (an AI "hallucination"), so he created a (defanged) malicious library with that name and uploaded it, and thousands of developers automatically downloaded and incorporated it as they compiled the code:
https://www.theregister.com/2024/03/28/ai_bots_hallucinate_software_packages/
These "hallucinations" are a stubbornly persistent feature of large language models, because these models only give the illusion of understanding; in reality, they are just sophisticated forms of autocomplete, drawing on huge databases to make shrewd (but reliably fallible) guesses about which word comes next:
https://dl.acm.org/doi/10.1145/3442188.3445922
Guessing the next word without understanding the meaning of the resulting sentence makes unsupervised LLMs unsuitable for high-stakes tasks. The whole AI bubble is based on convincing investors that one or more of the following is true:
There are low-stakes, high-value tasks that will recoup the massive costs of AI training and operation;
There are high-stakes, high-value tasks that can be made cheaper by adding an AI to a human operator;
Adding more training data to an AI will make it stop hallucinating, so that it can take over high-stakes, high-value tasks without a "human in the loop."
These are dubious propositions. There's a universe of low-stakes, low-value tasks – political disinformation, spam, fraud, academic cheating, nonconsensual porn, dialog for video-game NPCs – but none of them seem likely to generate enough revenue for AI companies to justify the billions spent on models, nor the trillions in valuation attributed to AI companies:
https://locusmag.com/2023/12/commentary-cory-doctorow-what-kind-of-bubble-is-ai/
The proposition that increasing training data will decrease hallucinations is hotly contested among AI practitioners. I confess that I don't know enough about AI to evaluate opposing sides' claims, but even if you stipulate that adding lots of human-generated training data will make the software a better guesser, there's a serious problem. All those low-value, low-stakes applications are flooding the internet with botshit. After all, the one thing AI is unarguably very good at is producing bullshit at scale. As the web becomes an anaerobic lagoon for botshit, the quantum of human-generated "content" in any internet core sample is dwindling to homeopathic levels:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/14/inhuman-centipede/#enshittibottification
This means that adding another order of magnitude more training data to AI won't just add massive computational expense – the data will be many orders of magnitude more expensive to acquire, even without factoring in the additional liability arising from new legal theories about scraping:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/17/how-to-think-about-scraping/
That leaves us with "humans in the loop" – the idea that an AI's business model is selling software to businesses that will pair it with human operators who will closely scrutinize the code's guesses. There's a version of this that sounds plausible – the one in which the human operator is in charge, and the AI acts as an eternally vigilant "sanity check" on the human's activities.
For example, my car has a system that notices when I activate my blinker while there's another car in my blind-spot. I'm pretty consistent about checking my blind spot, but I'm also a fallible human and there've been a couple times where the alert saved me from making a potentially dangerous maneuver. As disciplined as I am, I'm also sometimes forgetful about turning off lights, or waking up in time for work, or remembering someone's phone number (or birthday). I like having an automated system that does the robotically perfect trick of never forgetting something important.
There's a name for this in automation circles: a "centaur." I'm the human head, and I've fused with a powerful robot body that supports me, doing things that humans are innately bad at.
That's the good kind of automation, and we all benefit from it. But it only takes a small twist to turn this good automation into a nightmare. I'm speaking here of the reverse-centaur: automation in which the computer is in charge, bossing a human around so it can get its job done. Think of Amazon warehouse workers, who wear haptic bracelets and are continuously observed by AI cameras as autonomous shelves shuttle in front of them and demand that they pick and pack items at a pace that destroys their bodies and drives them mad:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/04/17/revenge-of-the-chickenized-reverse-centaurs/
Automation centaurs are great: they relieve humans of drudgework and let them focus on the creative and satisfying parts of their jobs. That's how AI-assisted coding is pitched: rather than looking up tricky syntax and other tedious programming tasks, an AI "co-pilot" is billed as freeing up its human "pilot" to focus on the creative puzzle-solving that makes coding so satisfying.
But an hallucinating AI is a terrible co-pilot. It's just good enough to get the job done much of the time, but it also sneakily inserts booby-traps that are statistically guaranteed to look as plausible as the good code (that's what a next-word-guessing program does: guesses the statistically most likely word).
This turns AI-"assisted" coders into reverse centaurs. The AI can churn out code at superhuman speed, and you, the human in the loop, must maintain perfect vigilance and attention as you review that code, spotting the cleverly disguised hooks for malicious code that the AI can't be prevented from inserting into its code. As "Lena" writes, "code review [is] difficult relative to writing new code":
https://twitter.com/qntm/status/1773779967521780169
Why is that? "Passively reading someone else's code just doesn't engage my brain in the same way. It's harder to do properly":
https://twitter.com/qntm/status/1773780355708764665
There's a name for this phenomenon: "automation blindness." Humans are just not equipped for eternal vigilance. We get good at spotting patterns that occur frequently – so good that we miss the anomalies. That's why TSA agents are so good at spotting harmless shampoo bottles on X-rays, even as they miss nearly every gun and bomb that a red team smuggles through their checkpoints:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/23/automation-blindness/#humans-in-the-loop
"Lena"'s thread points out that this is as true for AI-assisted driving as it is for AI-assisted coding: "self-driving cars replace the experience of driving with the experience of being a driving instructor":
https://twitter.com/qntm/status/1773841546753831283
In other words, they turn you into a reverse-centaur. Whereas my blind-spot double-checking robot allows me to make maneuvers at human speed and points out the things I've missed, a "supervised" self-driving car makes maneuvers at a computer's frantic pace, and demands that its human supervisor tirelessly and perfectly assesses each of those maneuvers. No wonder Cruise's murderous "self-driving" taxis replaced each low-waged driver with 1.5 high-waged technical robot supervisors:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/11/robots-stole-my-jerb/#computer-says-no
AI radiology programs are said to be able to spot cancerous masses that human radiologists miss. A centaur-based AI-assisted radiology program would keep the same number of radiologists in the field, but they would get less done: every time they assessed an X-ray, the AI would give them a second opinion. If the human and the AI disagreed, the human would go back and re-assess the X-ray. We'd get better radiology, at a higher price (the price of the AI software, plus the additional hours the radiologist would work).
But back to making the AI bubble pay off: for AI to pay off, the human in the loop has to reduce the costs of the business buying an AI. No one who invests in an AI company believes that their returns will come from business customers to agree to increase their costs. The AI can't do your job, but the AI salesman can convince your boss to fire you and replace you with an AI anyway – that pitch is the most successful form of AI disinformation in the world.
An AI that "hallucinates" bad advice to fliers can't replace human customer service reps, but airlines are firing reps and replacing them with chatbots:
https://www.bbc.com/travel/article/20240222-air-canada-chatbot-misinformation-what-travellers-should-know
An AI that "hallucinates" bad legal advice to New Yorkers can't replace city services, but Mayor Adams still tells New Yorkers to get their legal advice from his chatbots:
https://arstechnica.com/ai/2024/03/nycs-government-chatbot-is-lying-about-city-laws-and-regulations/
The only reason bosses want to buy robots is to fire humans and lower their costs. That's why "AI art" is such a pisser. There are plenty of harmless ways to automate art production with software – everything from a "healing brush" in Photoshop to deepfake tools that let a video-editor alter the eye-lines of all the extras in a scene to shift the focus. A graphic novelist who models a room in The Sims and then moves the camera around to get traceable geometry for different angles is a centaur – they are genuinely offloading some finicky drudgework onto a robot that is perfectly attentive and vigilant.
But the pitch from "AI art" companies is "fire your graphic artists and replace them with botshit." They're pitching a world where the robots get to do all the creative stuff (badly) and humans have to work at robotic pace, with robotic vigilance, in order to catch the mistakes that the robots make at superhuman speed.
Reverse centaurism is brutal. That's not news: Charlie Chaplin documented the problems of reverse centaurs nearly 100 years ago:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modern_Times_(film)
As ever, the problem with a gadget isn't what it does: it's who it does it for and who it does it to. There are plenty of benefits from being a centaur – lots of ways that automation can help workers. But the only path to AI profitability lies in reverse centaurs, automation that turns the human in the loop into the crumple-zone for a robot:
https://estsjournal.org/index.php/ests/article/view/260
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If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/01/human-in-the-loop/#monkey-in-the-middle
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Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg
CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en
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Jorge Royan (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Munich_-_Two_boys_playing_in_a_park_-_7328.jpg
CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en
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Noah Wulf (modified) https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Thunderbirds_at_Attention_Next_to_Thunderbird_1_-_Aviation_Nation_2019.jpg
CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en
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rinixo · 7 months ago
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variables
Tech/Reader | 1.5k | Rated E | smut, afab!reader, oral sex, Tech pov (mainly), Tech internal thoughts, slight possessive!Tech
He had never been one for flowery words, but as he closed his eyes he realized he understood now what the poets meant about devouring one another.
a/n: originally started out as a follow-up to auxilium, but ended up just being better as a stand-alone.
read on ao3
Tech’s sat on your floor, surrounded by communicator parts. He had offered to repair it for you when you mentioned it was malfunctioning. You had agreed, knowing that even if you said it was fine, you'd find it missing one day and returned, good as new, the next.
He comes over to your place more often, now. The first few times you had hovered anxiously, unsure of if you should find some way to entertain him, worried that you were boring him.
"I enjoy being in your company," Tech had stated matter-of-factly, halting your nervous fussing. Since then, you’d relaxed, going about your own activities while he worked on various projects.
He had built you some clever devices, intended to make your life easier. A tea kettle that would ping to your wrist comm, letting you know when it was at the perfect brewing temperature. A sensor on your door that actually worked, so you didn’t have to risk opening it up just to find some drunk passed out on your step.
Tech struggled to give voice to his feelings. He sometimes lacked the nuance that came easily to others regarding certain topics. It was easier for him to simply do. Every time he soldered a wire or tightened a bolt, it was a little testament to his affection towards you.
The sound of the bathroom door caught his attention. He watched as you emerged, toweling your damp hair, dressed only in underwear, content to let the rest of your body air dry.
He appreciated that you felt comfortable enough to share some of your quirks around him. In fact, Tech appreciated many of the small habits he observed in you - this one included, and not just because you were bare. Sometimes, he found himself musing about them while waiting for data to compile or during hyperspace journeys.
The way you flip your tools in your hands idly. There was a callus on one of your fingers, from the friction, and he could sometimes feel it when you touched him in certain sensitive places.
The lines between your eyes, when you frown. The subtle asymmetry of your brows, one rising higher than the other.
He likes that you don’t roll your eyes when he rambles, sitting through many impromptu lectures in good grace. The way that you’ll remember where he last left off, ask genuine questions, and invite him to continue.
He appreciated how he could sense when you wanted him to kiss you: your eyes darting to his lips, hands tensing and relaxing.
He cherished the tremble of your skin under his touch, whether his palm was spread over your abdomen or between your shoulder blades.
You sat on the edge of your bed, towel draped over your arm, looking humorously at the parts spread out on the ground.
“You’re going through a lot of trouble for me,” you joke. “I’d still like you even if you didn’t fix everything I own.”
“It’s no trouble,” Tech replies softly. Your knee is next to his head, droplets of water evaporating into the dry air. He can see the goose prickles on your skin.
A soft smile on your lips. “Don’t you have to go soon?”
Tech hums thoughtfully. His squamates were becoming suspicious of his increased absences. It was Echo who had approached the topic most directly, weeks ago on a long hyperspace transit back to Ord Mantell.
Tech didn’t know exactly why it bothered him or why he felt somewhat possessive over the knowledge. Over you. He had kept his tone neutral in response, hoping Echo would get the hint that it wasn’t something he wanted to talk about. The former ARC trooper didn’t look convinced but had dropped the subject.
It didn’t stop him from paying you a visit the very next day, however. And the day after that. And most days since then.
“Yes,” Tech decides. “But I want to be here.” Placing his hands on your knees, he pushes himself up and over you. You eye him, leaning back to keep his face in view.
He slots himself over your body, pressing his nose just above your belly button. Your skin, still slightly damp, smells wonderful.
“Tech," you mewl halfheartedly. “I just washed…”
He trails his nose down to the apex of your thighs. “You can wash again,” he breathes, kissing the fabric of your panties over your mound.
You must realize it’s a lost cause because you lean back with a sigh and throw an arm over your tired eyes.
He kisses you through the fabric, suckling softly, The fabric grows wetter between his tongue and your slick. He can see the color of your skin through the translucency, swollen and waiting for him. But he has the time, and the patience, and the desire to make this last.
Pulling the fabric to the side, he flicks his tongue over your clit, making you squirm. Your thighs twitch, and he knows you want to prop them up. He obliges you in this way, letting one of them lift over his shoulder. The other he pats, enjoying the plush way they mold under his hand.
More than one previous lover had made remarks about ‘using his mouth for other things’, insinuating that his clever tongue could be used for more than wit. It had never really sat well with him before, the suggestion that he was too much, too talkative, that his mouth would be more useful to them elsewhere.
Tech didn’t feel that way about you. He could spend hours between your legs, memorizing you through touch and taste alone. He took great offense at leaving any job half-done, and this was no exception. He wasn’t satisfied until you were satisfied, and even then he would be so hyper-focused at times that it wasn’t until you’d pry him away with shaking hands that he’d realize you were moments away from passing out from pleasured exhaustion.
Tech moves the hand on your thigh down to ease two long fingers into you. Glancing up, he can see those lines between your brows, eyes screwed shut. He feels you tense and then relax, caught between adjusting to the new sensation and giving in to the continued assault from his mouth.
He’s careful, delicate almost. His tongue curls around your clit, his teeth just barely creating pressure. You pulse with it and he releases, wanting to draw this out further. He likes when you’re desperate for it, writhing and rambling nonsense. It won’t be until you’ve begged, pleaded, bargained that he’ll let you come. Tech likes to be awash in your praise - it makes his cock throb to hear how good he does it, how good he makes you feel.
It’s more than just physical pleasure, too. Tech supposes he could have stopped himself from falling in love with you. Love was powerful and dangerous. It wasn’t predictable and defied attempts at pathology. It required one to give up control and give in to vulnerability. It wasn’t logical, and it wasn’t something he had ever prioritized before. Lust was much simpler in comparison.
You threw unknown variables into the carefully charted graph of his mind, his perception of who he was, and his place in the galaxy.
It was overwhelming, at times. Something that would need to be parsed out eventually, tallied, and taken inventory of. But for now, he channeled it into attending to your body, focusing solely not on what he thought but on what he could feel, on the lust coursing through him.
The shadows on the wall change and the dimmed lights click on before Tech’s finished with you, pulling back to see you panting. This was some of his best work so far, he thinks, wiping his chin absently. His cock, pressing against his blacks, is achingly hard. He lets it pulse as he watches you, enjoying the edging sensation. He’ll let you decide, once you’ve gathered yourself, if you’d like to go any further. And if you decide that you’re tapped out, that’s all right - just as much as he likes to feel your mouth on him or be buried in your cunt, he likes to sit back and have you watch him stroke himself until he’s coming hard over his hands or spraying over your stomach.
You’ll attempt to apologize later, but he’ll quiet you with his lips. Why should you apologize, when you’ve given him as much as you have? When he desires you so intensely? When you sate the monstrous appetite he didn’t know he possessed? He’d have to find the time, the courage, to figure out what it all meant. What he wanted, what you wanted, and what - realistically - was possible.
But now was not that time, he knows, as you push yourself up and pull him closer. Tech holds your head as your trembling hands pull down his blacks, breath leaving him shakily through his nose as you take him into your mouth.
He had never been one for flowery words, but as he closed his eyes he realized he understood now what the poets meant about devouring one another.
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its-time-to-write · 1 year ago
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hi there! (ok FIRST AND FOREMOST i need to tell you that i am obsessed with your writing. you are by far my favorite jamie tartt writer, you characterize him perfectly and nail his speech mannerisms! not an easy feat! so thank u for writing what you do and for sharing it with us!!!! <333333 ok now that i've gotten that off my chest) if you're taking requests right now i'd love to see your take on a (slowburn?) enemies to lovers fic with jamie!!
I don’t know why I take simple little prompts and turn them into angsty monstrosities. This one makes up for the lack of plot in my other fics, and I’d like to apologize in advance😬
Oh also I am the queen of commas, in case you didn’t know 😇😇
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flipped the script
It cannot be considered murder if you’re provoked. It would be considered doing the world a favor. 
And by god, you are going to fucking murder Jamie Tartt.
He does absolutely fucking nothing but make your life fucking miserable and you’re fucking losing it.
The only thing you’d agree on is when it started. It was 4am and he was yelling at someone called Roy and you had to be awake in two hours for a fucking conference, and you’d only just fallen asleep at 1am.
So you marched out of your house to the sidewalk where your prick neighbor was arguing with his prick coach and told him to shut the fuck up or I’m calling the police.
He opened his mouth to retort, changed his mind, then made a snide comment about your choice of outfit while you glared at him. His prick coach had the decency to apologize and smack Jamie on the head, so you said, “You’re fine, Roy, I’ll see you at work next week,” and Roy said, “Ah shit, you have that fucking conference, yeah?” and you said yeah then flipped off Jamie as you walked away.
You really hadn’t had many interactions with Jamie before, but you knew him before you started your job as an administrative assistant for AFC Richmond since you were, after all, living right next to each other.
Your last job had paid incredibly well; you were basically the go-to girl for your last company for two and half years. You compiled all relevant information from the day and presented to your boss so he would be caught up on the company’s inner workings. You were observant when it came to valuable (or toxic) employees, and had gained a reputation for being an invaluable asset.
But your old boss was retiring and you were ready for something new, so you began looking around. You found a job at AFC Richmond, assisting a Mr. Higgins and just generally making sure his job ran smoothly so the club could run smoothly. 
It was mostly paperwork, but you enjoyed it. You collected data from all different departments and then ran it by Higgins and Ms. Welton. You weren’t above coffee runs; it was nice to get out sometimes and Ms. Welton would put your coffee on her bill. You got to take your lunch breaks with them and talk and laugh, and be appreciated, which is something you didn’t often get.
The nature of your job demands a certain level of… professionalism, shall we say, which can be misconstrued as coldness. You’re not. You’re just young and trying to be taken seriously, which is why it’s nice to be known both in a personal and professional capacity by Higgins and Ms. Welton. Higgins has even invited you over for family dinner and you’d invited his family over to yours. His boys had absolutely lost their minds at the amount of nerf guns you had stashed in each room, courtesy of your brother who often liked to drop by unannounced when he knew you were home and get you in the back of the head. Sometimes you regretted giving him a key, but not enough to take it back.
All that to say, it was a relatively seamless transition to AFC Richmond. You and Jamie would exchange a neighborly nod if you saw each other, but that was absolutely it. 
The next incident is, uh, kind of your fault.
Remember the brother-and-nerf-guns thing?
Yeah.
Your brother had sneaked over on a Sunday (parked around the corner so his car wouldn’t be seen on your security cameras) and you were chasing each other around the house. Your sister-in-law had warned you he was coming over (he asked her to drive him), so you were prepared and hiding in the bushes. He was nonchalantly walking on the sidewalk, hands in his hoodie, when you popped out and got him right in the chest then booked it into your house, which led to a solid fifteen minutes of running and yelling, with the occasional, “Ow, you jerk!” that siblings are always saying but never really mean.
The incident occurs when you’re once again in your front yard running from your brother. You look back to assess how far away he is when smack, you run into someone and feel their beverage go flying.
It’s Jamie, and his bright pink drink is now all over his clean white hoodie.
You both stop and glare at each other. 
You had stopped feigning civility after the 4am thing, so the glare is standard procedure.
Jamie says, “What the fuck?” as your brother comes careening to an abrupt halt.
You’re still glaring. “Why are asking me ‘what the fuck?’ You’re the one walking around here with that fucking awful drink that’s probably going to kill your internal organs. I mean seriously, it cannot be safe to consume something that bright.”
“Says the girl who’s addicted to diet soda.”
“Says the girl who’s fucking pissed that her sidewalk is stained fucking bright pink. How the fuck am I supposed to clean this?”
Jamie’s face is red now, and yours is too.
“A), it’s a fucking public sidewalk and b), what about my fucking sweatshirt? This cost more than your shitty car!” he shoots back, and that’s the moment a line is crossed.
“We live in the same goddamn neighborhood,” you hiss, “so shut the fuck up with your stupid elitist footballer bullshit.”
“Oi, at least I’m not a fucking stuck-up, self-righteous big-shot with no friends!”
You’re not sure what would have happened next because your brother grabs you by the arm and hauls you back inside, waving apologetically to Jamie. All the fight goes out of you as soon as the door shuts.
“What the ever-loving hell was that?” he asks. He never did like using the word “fuck.”
What the ever-loving hell was that? Well, it’s actually quite simple. In the seven months you’ve been at Richmond, you haven’t really made any friends.
Yes, you have Ms. Welton and Higgins, but that’s not the same as having people the same age as you to go out with and watch movies and drink and dance and just be stupid and unwind with. 
You’re not even necessarily looking for friends at Nelson Road, just friends somewhere. The problem is, you’re not even sure how to go about it. You’ve spent the last decade of your life (yes, decade) working your ass off to get where you are now. Fourteen year-old knew what she wanted and was determined to get it. You had hustled through school, made connections, grew your resume, and saved every fucking penny until you landed a job that you were definitely under qualified for, but you had nailed the interview. You weren’t sure why your boss decided to take a chance on you, until he told you later he saw the same spark his daughter had in your eyes.
His daughter, who had become a multi-millionaire on her own by the time she was twenty-seven.
So, because someone saw the grit in your eyes of all places, you had a chance to make a fuck ton of money and have a fuck ton of benefits.
You made more connections, including a realtor who set you up with your current home at a price that was insane to normal people, but a steal to the rich. You were signing papers before it was even officially on the market.
It had been labelled as a “fixer-upper,” but that meant a little bit of scuffed paint and slightly outdated utilities. 
And it was yours.
It all came at a price though, didn’t it?
That price was not seeing your family often, sleeping poorly, and no real friends.
That’s why your brother makes it a point to come around. He knows that your lack of contact does not equate a lack of love.
Not everyone saw it that way. You’d lost all your friends at this point, labeled a bitch and a workaholic. So, you though, why the hell not just lean into it. You could be a bitch and a workaholic if it got things done. It was easier to harden the shell around your heart than let people in again.
Ok, maybe taking out all that anger on Jamie isn’t healthy, but hey, he’s the one fighting back so hard. 
Things keep happening. His foot is stuck out just enough to make you stumble as you pass each other in the hallway, your car is parked on the street just enough so he can’t get into his garage, ferocious glares are exchanged. Any conversation you are forced to have is laced with sarcastic, biting remarks that only serve make you close off even more. 
The worst part? You’re both fucking brilliant at hiding it. 
You’d have to be, especially at AFC Richmond under Ted Lasso’s command. If he got wind of this, he’d be all over it trying to fix it and neither of you want that. 
You see, Jamie’s a little bit fucked up too.
You’ve been at AFC Richmond for a year, and you’ve hated Jamie Tartt for eleven months.
Yet somehow, you’re in fucking Paris. 
Not with just Jamie, of course, but the whole team.
Rebecca’s basically given you a paid vacation because there isn’t much for you to do here. It’s great, the city of lights or something, but you can’t enjoy it. 
You’re in your room on the floor, becoming slowly dehydrated from crying.
Everything is all fuzzy and you’re incredibly disoriented, so you think you might be hallucinating when you hear a knock on the door.
It happens again, more insistently, and you think it’s probably Rebecca so you drag yourself up off the floor, wipe your eyes, and open it to find Jamie Tartt standing in front of you, clearly wishing to be anywhere else.
He’s staring at the top of the doorframe as he says, “Coach sent me to see if you want to go out with the lads tonight,” looking down only when you’ve left his statement unanswered for far too long.
His look of annoyance changes as he clocks your puffy eyes and red nose. 
“You alright?” he asks and you don’t even have the heart to say, obviously, don’t I look it? so you just nod and move to shut the door. 
Jamie blocks it with his hand and pushes it back open, then past you into the room.
It’s pristine, all marble and gold; and far too big for you. You would have preferred something smaller, something less empty. Something less cold. 
All you can do is stand there mutely in your t-shirt and sweatpants, watching your worst enemy clatter around in the room’s fridge looking for a water bottle.
He retrieves one and hands it to you, cap unscrewed.
You don’t ask if he’s spit in it, just take a sip and look at him with dead eyes.
“You look like shit,” he observes, breaking the silence. 
It’s not a dig. You’ve heard enough condescension from his lips to know when he’s fighting.
You shrug.
“You gonna say something?” Jamie asks, and that’s enough to get you going.
“You’re the one who’s in my room,” you say and instead of firing back, Jamie grins. 
“We can go to mine if you want, love,” he winks and in a terrible, awful, panic-inducing moment, you are thrown completely off your guard.
How the fuck are you supposed to reconcile this Jamie Tartt with the awful neighbor you hate? And is he- flirting? Surely not.
He registers your face going through a million expressions in an instant and sobers.
“Go sit,” he says, and you comply without thinking. You’re cross-legged on the couch and he thumps down next to you. He’s not close enough that you’re touching, but you can feel the heat radiating off his body. It’s funny, because you feel so cold. You wonder for a moment if your heart has actually turned to stone and that’s why you’re shivering.
You hear someone say, “My ex is here,” and are horrified to realize that you’re the one talking, and not only that, but you’re continuing. 
“He fucking… knew I’d be here. I saw him in the lobby. He acted like it was some great coincidence, but he was never a great liar. And… he’s here with his girlfriend. Fiancée, I guess. Because he’s proposing to her tonight. They’ve known each other less than a year, and he’s proposing to her. I saw him in the lobby looking like this while he’s in a fucking suit and all I can think about is the fact that he broke up with me because I wouldn’t put out because I wasn’t ready. And how he said he wasn’t the marrying type.” You pause.
“I broke my back making time for him. Everyone thinks I’m a workaholic and maybe I am, but I make time for the people I love. I made time for him. It sounds funny to say, especially how I am now, but he’s why I don’t anymore. Make time, I mean. Nobody notices I’m gone anyway. Or when I’m around. Or anything I do unless I’m doing something for them.”
You risk a look at Jamie. He’s studying your face with an intensity you’ve never seen and you look down to find his hand in yours, and you wonder how that happened. Your knuckles are white from gripping it but he’s holding it back and it gives you just enough of a boost to keep going.
“I don’t even want the money for myself. Like, I’m able to buy expensive shit and that’s cool, but the only reason I have a house that big is because my brother and his wife have a shit-ton of kids, and sometimes they need a break. So they can come over to mine and run around and have space and be wild for a week and I don’t care. They won’t let me give them money, so I have to think of creative ways to help them out. I only have nephews- they each have their own trust fund. It’s not that big right now, but it’s growing. It’ll be a lot by the time they’re each eighteen. And my parents… They died when I was fourteen. It was a stupid car accident, this freak thing with the brakes even though they’d just had the car serviced a week before. My brother was twenty one and newly married because he’s an idiot and he was in love. He and his wife let me live with them.”
You shake your head. “No, that’s not right, they didn’t just let me live with them, they took care of me. Bought me clothes and fed me and let me have my own room even though I said I could sleep on the couch. They could barely afford things for themselves, but they made sure I had what I needed. That’s why I threw myself into work and pushed people away. It’s for them, because I know I can never repay them. But I want to, even if they won’t let me.”
You’re done speaking, finally, and your face is bright red. It normally is when speaking to Jamie, but that’s from the sheer anger you usually feel from having to deal with him. This time it’s different. It’s from the embarrassment of being vulnerable in front of someone.
Jamie hasn’t said anything the whole time, just let you hold his hand. Your knees are touching now, and you realize that one of you must have shifted to make that happen.
You take a deep breath and blow it out slowly. “Why are you here, Jamie?” you ask softly. “You hate me. I don’t even know why I told you all that.”
He looks straight into your eyes. “I don’t hate you,” he says simply.
That’s enough to fully shatter the shell around your heart, and you’re shaking with silent sobs again as Jamie pulls you closer, your back against his chest as he wraps his arms around you.
You fall asleep like that, and you’re not sure at which point Jamie left. But when you wake up, you’re in your bed under a blanket. You think maybe you dreamed the whole thing until you see the note on your nightstand in messy handwriting.
I meant what I said.
Neither you nor Jamie comment on it, but something has changed. You don’t hate him anymore. He sits next to you on the plane back and cracks jokes, and you have a weird opportunity to apologize. He tells you he’s sorry too, explains about his dad, and you form a strange bond of repressed anger as a way to deal with hurt. 
Ted is right, forgiveness is the way to go.
Jamie Tartt makes it a point to ask you to go out with the lads every time they do group activities. You meet Rebecca’s friend Keeley, basically the only other girl, and pretty soon she’s invited herself over for girl’s nights. Jamie recognizes Keeley’s car the second time it happens and walks over to say hey. She invites him in, and suddenly he’s a fixture at girl’s night. His movie recommendations are shit, but his skincare products are not.
Since things at AFC Richmond aren’t as hectic as you’re used to, you start to pick up some of your old hobbies. Cooking, for example. You get your hands on a copy of Jamie’s diet plan and start experimenting with ways to make it more interesting. So now he’s at yours for dinner more often than not. 
He pops his head over the fence one Saturday afternoon, hearing young voices all morning. Your nephews are over and playing football in the backyard while your brother and sister-in-law deep clean their house. You’re sitting under an umbrella with the baby in your arms and a pitcher of water, when you hear Isaiah, the oldest, say, “Whoa! Is that Jamie Tartt?” 
You look up from Daniel’s tiny giggly face to see Jamie hanging over your fence and waving. You roll your eyes and grin back.
“Wanna come over?” you call, and the words are barely our of your mouth before he’s hopped over and starting to steal the ball from your four walking nephews.
They’re at it for a good thirty minutes before he calls time-out and is jogging over to you, all sweaty and grinning. 
“Didn’t know you were good with kids,” he says.
“Could say the same thing about you,” you shoot back.
He grabs water then makes a silly face at Daniel, who giggles and waves his arms. You laugh and kiss the baby on the top of his head, which makes him gurgle. You look up to see Jamie watching you strangely, so you wrinkle your nose at him. “What?” you say, but before he can open his mouth to respond, Jesse is pulling on Jamie’s hand, telling him the time-out is over.
Your next interaction of note happens after your third consecutive Richmond match. You don’t usually go to them, as it’s not required and you didn’t really care. But since you’ve been hanging out with the team, you find yourself taking Rebecca up on her offer to sit in the owner’s box. It’s three days until the next match and you’re looking for Jamie so you can eat lunch together. You find him in the locker room of all places and hand him his bag of food, yet another one of your experiments.
You’re starting to get really good revitalizing Jamie’s meal plan.
His eyes light up when he sees you, and you both miss the looks exchanged between Ted and Beard in their office.
Jamie puts down the lunch and says, “Oi, I got you something.” He reaches into his locker and pulls out a Richmond jersey.
“It’s new, it ain’t one of mine, but now you can wear it to matches.”
You shake it open to see it’s a Jamie Tartt jersey, and this makes you unreasonably happy.
Jamie’s grinning too, and it’s the rare kind of grin where his teeth look sharper and his eyes flash.
You hug it to your chest and say, “I’ll be sure to wear it Saturday,” before you and Jamie head to the café to eat.
— 
Keeley, of course, has comments about the jersey. You pretend not to understand what she’s saying.
It’s girls night again, and you and Jamie are pulling snacks out of his cabinets when your phones ding at the same time. It’s Keeley on your groupchat.
Can’t make it babes, something’s come up.
You make a comment involving the words “Roy Kent,” and riffing on her excuse, which makes Jamie laugh.
“I guess I’ll head back to mine,” you say, but Jamie tilts his head and says, “Or you could just… stay,” so you do.
You’re on his couch again, like the night you stopped hating him: your back agains his chest as you rub your thumb absentmindedly on his tattooed forearm.
You’re midway through the movie and explaining to Jamie the limited plausibility of it happening in real life, when he says a soft, oh shit as you pause to take a breath.
“What?” you say, sitting up. “Is everything alright?”
Jamie rubs a hand across his face. “You’re gonna fucking hate me again.”
You squint. “Not sure that’s possible. You’ve got too much dirt on me.”
Jamie just groans. “Nah, you’ll hate me. But I’m gonna tell you anyway.”
He grabs your hand and looks you straight in your eyes, giving you goosebumps.
“I’m fucking in love with you,” he says, and your brain still functions just enough to crash your lips into his.
You’re on top of him and his fingers are tangled in your hair, but as your fingers ghost his waistband, he stills and grabs your hand.
You freeze too, afraid you’ve crossed a line, but Jamie says, “I’m not fucking you for the first time on my couch. We’re going to do this proper,” and then he’s whisking you off your feet and up the stairs.
You know that fucking someone you work with is a line you said you’d never cross. But he was your neighbor first, and you’re in love, so it doesn’t count. You’re lying on Jamie’s bed gasping for air after god knows how long and all you can say is, “fuck me.”
Jamie smirks. “Thought I just did, babe, but I’ll go again,” and you’re seeing stars for the third time that night.
He’s sucking a line across your collarbone when you say, “Wait!”
Jamie is off of you in a moment, and you feel strangely empty.
“You alright?” he asks, all concern.
“I never said it back,” you explain. Jamie’s still confused.
“I love you too. You said you’re fucking in love with me. I’m in love with you too. Just thought I should make it clear.” 
Jamie’s looking at you all strange again, eyes dark, so you roll him back on top and let him devour you.
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kyra45 · 1 year ago
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Introduction v2
Please read this too.
Want a dragon design?
(I am not qualified to verify the legitimacy of Palestine fundraisers if it’s a GoFundMe link. Please check out vetted lists instead of asking me on anon or in general. I can not verify Palestine GoFundMe links.)
Hi! I’m Key (aka Jess from @shadowfoxsilver) and this is a blog where I attempt to document scam posts and scam blogs while also trying my best to post information about easy and simple ways to spot scam accounts. Any information supplied here has been obtained from public sources though sometimes it is only found in private places. If the information is from a private source, I will have personal data redacted while leaving important information visible. While my focus is pet donation scams, other scams can be found here if I have enough to show it. My featured tags are also another way to access information quickly.
The main purpose of this blog is to have a publicly accessible resource of information that can be found if you have searched around. Most of what I post is generally tagged properly or at least to the best of my ability. I also use this post to compile a quick access point to important links as over time the posts get buried. This way opening my blog pulls up a post where you can quickly find any links you look for.
While I do work daily, I do try my best to keep all my information up to date so a post may have new information on it at a later date. All the stuff I do here is only a hobby, but I do have a ko-fi here if you’d like to check it out. Do not feel pressured to send me anything. It is your choice!
As of recently, an anonymous user may send asks to people who interact with me and tell them I’m a scammer. This anon is just a scammer who has been over here for a while now being annoyed that I bust scams. If you have any questions, my asks and messages are always open.
Now listed below is useful links and other places you may find me where I mainly post art. Feel free to share this post, I don’t mind.
Keys guide to scam spotting v3 | | PVP posts | A poll | Disclaimer | Laura Deramas | Tips to spotting scams based around Palestine | Daily scam list
Art blog | Main blog | Toyhouse | deviantART | Key and Jess
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homunculus-argument · 1 year ago
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Sometimes I can shut down irrational anxiety thoughts by just going "yeah, and then what?" at them. Like sitting home alone and suddenly getting a jolt of "oh shit what if someone secretly has cameras here and now they're just watching me do weird goblin shit unaware that I'm being observed."
And I can just go "well then they're the ones who are fucking weird for doing that." If someone's observing me just to gather data for an epic cringe compilation of all the weirdest shit I've ever done in the privacy of my own home, and then release it into the public, everyone's going to look at them to ask "what the fuck is wrong with you?"
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lilbrattyratty · 1 year ago
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A Guide to Lewis Hamilton and Peter Bonnington
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Recently I have been convincing people to become obsessed with whatever Lewis and Bono have so instead of repeating myself unnecessarily I have decided to make this handy dandy Bible guide to their journey together!
1. The Basics
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Lewis and Bono have the longest running engineer and driver pairing in the history of the sport.
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Sir Lewis Hamilton: if you don’t know who he is then I’m slightly surprised you are here but I am not here to judge. Sir Lewis Hamilton is a British F1 driver who has won 7 world championship titles with the Mercedes team! He’s a legend in the sport. He made his debut with McLaren in 2007 and has been with Mercedes since 2013.
Peter “Bono” Bonnington: Bono is senior race engineer for Mercedes. He has been race engineer since 2011 where he worked with other 7 time world champion Michael Schumacher. After Schumacher left Bono was paired with Lewis and they have been together ever since! He has been widely regarded as the most successful and most well known race engineer.
Note: for some reason there was a misconception going around that Bono was 10 years older than he really was. Let’s put this to rest: his birthday is 12 February 1975. Source
It’s Hammertime: maybe one of the most famous Lewis radio messages. Bono explains that during the years where radio messages were more strict they needed a code word to let Lewis know it was time to really go all out. So they suggested “put the hammer down” before it became “it’s hammertime”. Source (timestamp 18:17)
Austrian GP 2014: the very first Hammertime. Link
2. The Partnership
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Out on track the race engineer is the critical link from the team in the garage to the driver. They must analyze all the data and determine what the driver needs to know without overwhelming them.
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Platonic or romantic or brotherly no matter how you may view their relationship it has been stated many times by both of them that their relationship takes a lot of trust and open communication. They share a deep bond and connection that they feel is integral to their success.
In this interview you will find Lewis speaking about the depth of their trust and love for each other. Link
“It’s like a marriage, I guess.”
“There’s love, and real friendship, and loyalty.”
This interview is where Lewis speaks about the support that they show for each other. How he feels that they are always there for each other to bring out the best. Link
“I don’t know if I can do this for you…”
This interview where Lewis again talks about how much he loves Bono and how important their bond is to him. Link
“I think he is also one of the few people who can handle me on good and bad days.”
In this Instagram post you can read that Lewis is always thankful for Bono and recognizes that his success is thanks for many people but Bono in particular… Link
“Forever grateful for my guy Bono, blessed to have him by my side.”
Now Bono may be more media shy but he does have this interview where he talks about working with Lewis. Link
“He’s the rockstar and I’m the one in charge.”
Occasionally Bono will not be working with Lewis and you can see how awkward it is sometimes when you aren’t used to the replacement. Link
“That was a lot of information, I don’t understand what you just said.”
A moment when you can hear Lewis trying to calm Bono rather than the other way around. Link
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The Egg: Bono brought an egg to the 2021 Brazil and Jeddah GP because Lewis loves the movie ‘Cool Runnings’ and it really inspired him when he was younger. In the movie they kiss their lucky egg. Source
Podiums: Bono has been on the podium a few times with Lewis and each one is super fun and special! A full list can be found here!
3. The Fandom
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“I love Bono and I wouldn’t want to work with anyone else. Don’t write that I love him because I haven’t told him.” -Lewis Hamilton
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Below I have compiled fic recs as well as just shippy moments from the two of them.
Notable Moments:
British GP 2014: Lewis wins his home GP and Bono tells him to “lap it up, boy”. Link
Austin GP 2015: who can forget the iconic hug? (pictured above) The way Bono leaps into his arms and he bounced him up and down… simply iconic. Video link of the hug
US GP 2018: Lewis tells Bono he’s not gonna go steady. Link
Russian GP 2019: Bono tries to hide behind the crowd but Lewis won’t let him. Link
ALSO at that same GP! They stared at each other from the podium in beautiful iconic cinematography… link
Abu Dhabi GP 2019: Lewis (and others) dump champagne on Bono’s head and make him very very wet… link
Lewis Hamilton and Valentino Rossi: Where Rossi asks Lewis if “this is your guy?” And Lewis replied “yeah.” Link (timestamp 2:39)
Mexico GP 2019: Lewis dedicated his win to Bono. Link
British GP 2024: Lewis tells Bono he loves him ❤️ Link
Also from that same GP, Lewis says he always feels safe with Bono Link
Notable Blogs:
@storm3326: creates wonderful Bono and Lewis fanart
@queerbenched: makes beautiful Bono and Lewis edits
@still-we-rise @teamroscoes @princemick @l8tof1 @husbono @flatspot: All post a lot of good Bono and Lewis content. I scrolled through a lot of their blogs a lot while making this post.
There are of course plenty of other wonderful blogs out there and I appreciate every single one of them.
Fic Recs:
This thing called us by Dutchiedragon Rated: Gen.
Summary: Brazil 2021 brought so many emotions, it left the Mercedes team completely burnt out. Lewis ends up alone in his hotelroom with a thousand thoughts running through his head, so he seeks out the one person who might bring him peace.
Or: Lewis needs help taking out his braids. Bono is there.
So long, longing by ohfrecklefreckle Rated: Mature.
Summary: Engineering is a dirty job but someone's got to do it. What happens when you're almost telepathic but still can't say what you need to?
The contours of things by The_Orange_one Rated: Mature.
Summary: Lewis belongs to so many people, but Bono mostly just belongs to Lewis.
Love in the major key by ambiguouspace Rated: Teen.
Summary: Bono, in particular, looks surprisingly alert tonight.
In fact, James notices, as his brain clicks out of analysis mode and into observation, he’s positively glowing. His eyes are bright, face a little flushed like he’s been working out. James looks down, catalogues the rest of his appearance. Bono’s t-shirt hangs slightly loose on him, nothing like the cut he normally favours, and the print on the front is unusual, an oversized image of something James can’t quite see but looks oddly familiar and—ah.
Lewis and Bono and the unsubtle art of workplace flirtation.
Lost in My Own Incidents by glasscushion Rated: Explicit.
Summary: “What do you need, Lewis? This bit I can do.”
“This,” he says, his eyes still closed. “Can we just stay like this?”
Lewis lifts one side of the blanket for Bono to take and he grabs a handful, laying it over his own lap, the wool heated from where it’s been resting against Lewis’ skin. The urge to reach out beneath, to soothe, to touch, is almost suffocating.
“Not a problem mate. No problem at all.”
Author’s Note: This is not a complete list and may be updated as they continue to be insane about each other!
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slyandthefamilybook · 8 months ago
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What is the Accountability Archive?
(I was gonna make this an addition to another post but OP turned off reblogs while I was halfway through my deep dive so I'm making my own)
With any activism (or something trying to pass itself off as activism), especially list-making like this site, the most important question to ask is "why". What is the purpose? What do they hope to accomplish? How will this data be used?
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The answer is......eh? The list is being compiled so that possibly someday some future historian might maybe think about wanting to form a committee to explore the possibility of..."understanding how 'power holders' manufacture consent". These power holders are, of course, politicians, but also journalists?, and "public figures", which is an extremely vague term. Am I a public figure? I certainly make my opinions public. So when these future researchers want to understand the nature of the current conflict, they won't need to look at the history of the region, the contemporary local politics as well as the international stage, and the personalities of the specific people involved. They'll just check out this eyesore of a website to find proof that slyandthefamilybook supports genocide. And future lawyers will be able to use this incontrovertible evidence to...sorry, to prosecute war crimes?????? Sorry, I couldn't help but laugh at that one. Well if I am on there it shouldn't be too hard to check. Surely a site called the "Accountability Archive" believes in transparency
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Oh. Well. I'm sure if you pass their screening process they'll respond promptly from their encrypted archive-less email and definitely give you access. But don't worry. They have a "vision" of one day making this public. When are we the people going to be able to see the info? I want the juicy deets on who is and isn't a Zionist!
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So, sometime in the future. Maybe. Probably. Well what kind of info are they collecting anyway?
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Alright, seems normal so far. I appreciate that when talking about targeting of civilian populations or infrastructure they've remained impartial. I submitted a page from the ADL cataloguing US professors who celebrated Hamas' pogrom on 10/7. I will let you know how or if they respond
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One thing I've noticed is the distinctly European spelling of some words like "dehumanisation" and "analyse". So who are these people even? They must have pictures, or names, or evidence of their bona fides. They claim to be "middle east experts" [sic] so surely they'll link articles they've written, or talk about degrees or accolades they've received. Something, anything to let us know that they're real serious people who know what they're talking about
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Well that's......I mean that's not even an answer. You don't answer the question of "who are we" with "this is the purpose of our website". They have a Twitter, which despite being made in October 2023 (huh. weird) only made its first post in February 2024
The site itself went live on November 22, 2023, but according to Google was only certified as of 9 days ago
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I'm not going to try to dig into who potentially runs the account. I don't want to doxx anyone. But this should give you an overview of what this site is and why you definitely shouldn't use it
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misc-obeyme · 5 months ago
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Okay back on my human!au ideas. I'm gonna do a compilation post or something because the others are just rambles and they aren't exactly easy to find... I don't even have it in the masterlist anywhere... mostly 'cause these are just ideas that I have no idea what I'm gonna do with. asldfj anyway! Feel free to use them if you feel so inclined!
(For reference: Beel, Belphie, Satan, & Asmo, more Asmo & Mammon - you can also check the tag #misc human au)
Okay so I've talked about all the brothers except for Lucifer and Levi, but here's what I'm thinking.
Basically, I can't really imagine any of the brothers living fully alone, so while Beel & Belphie are both living on the farm (though possibly in different buildings) and Satan & Asmo are sharing a place in the city (probably in one side of a duplex because I think an apartment would be too small for them lol), I've decided the three older brothers live together, too.
BUT. Levi is a marine biologist. He has his own boat for research purposes (his research is likely also funded by the university where Satan teaches) and sometimes he goes out on his boat for weeks at a time. His main focus for his research is whales or maybe manatees or something, but everybody knows he's secretly trying to find evidence of sea serpents.
Still completely obsessed with anime & manga, I don't think you could ever take the otaku out of Levi lol. So when he goes out on his boat, he brings piles of manga and anime to catch up on while he's out there.
He has a lot of high tech equipment on his boat that he's especially good at maintaining. Other researchers often ask him for help with this.
When he's home, he spends his time holed up in his room playing video games, occasionally emerging for food and what have you. He also spends a decent amount of time working through what he learned on his expeditions and writing research papers good enough to continue getting grants. Satan helps with those, taking Levi's data and making it sound good. Sometimes Belphie helps out too.
All the other brothers seek out Levi when they need help with tech and sometimes he takes them out on his boat for rides or even if they just wanna get away for a couple days. Belphie especially likes to do this because you get some amazing views of the stars out on the ocean.
Lucifer owns a vineyard. It's not far from Beel's farm, but unlike Beel Lucifer doesn't live there. His house is in the city proper and as mentioned, he shares it with Levi and Mammon.
Lucifer spends a lot of time at the vineyard, though, perfecting the various methods of wine production to create a superior product. He's the real money maker of this family. While everybody else makes money from their various jobs, Lucifer's personal wine label makes the most. We all know that Lucifer would take care of all of his brothers if any of them needed anything. He gives them money regularly and doesn't ask for it back.
Human!Lucifer is much softer than demon!Lucifer in general. There is some angsty family history that I will write about in a different post, but basically he's been through a lot. Basically raised all his brothers himself and they mean everything to him. He isn't about to let them stumble through life because they didn't have enough money. Especially not if he has it to give them.
He's more indulgent, probably middle aged, tired. He was perhaps more intense when he was younger, but he's mellowed out at this point.
He and Mammon are both very business minded, so together they kinda keep everybody else on track. They help with the business side of Beel's farm, allowing Beel to focus on things like crop quality. And if for some reason Levi or Belphie don't get the funds they need from the university, Lucifer and Mammon come up with ways to supplement their income. Satan does all right as a professor and Asmo is a successful therapist, so they don't need as much help. But they will come to their older brothers for advice. Together, Lucifer and Mammon are especially good at helping their brothers plan for retirement lol. They're like, listen we know you're young and don't care, but you gotta start saving with that 401k!!
Lucifer thinks Mammon is a little too wild with his fancy cars, but he also admits that Mammon is good at what he does. Levi worries Lucifer when he's locked up in his room for too long or when he's gone on his boat for too long without checking in.
Lucifer is proud of Satan and Asmo, how they're doing well on their own together, how successful and well balanced they both turned out. He worries a little bit about Belphie, spending a lot of time alone staring at the stars, but he's also aware that Belphie is doing what he loves. Lucifer is also proud of Beel for pursuing something as difficult as farming.
I still like the idea of MC being the only non human in this scenario lol. The one pink sheep on Beel's farm. But of course there could be a situation in which they all meet an MC character...
Buuuut I also think I'm getting ahead of myself. We still got the tragic family backstory and the side characters to consider.
Anyway, this is just me rambling about my thoughts. More likely to come 'cause I can't stop thinking about them.
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yuurei20 · 10 months ago
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Jade and Floyd Info Compilation part 23: Being Mermaids (pt2)
Azul says that merfolk have some innate cold resistance and both Floyd and Jade can outpace brooms in their true forms.
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We see these true forms for the first time in-game during Book 3 and it seems that it is not unusual for Floyd to transform back, doing so during summer swim classes, Halloween and Vargas Camp.
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Azul says that Floyd will sometimes forget to take his transformation potion at all: "And then I hear things like, 'Hey, my ears are fins again!’ or ‘My fingers grew some webbin’!”
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Floyd explains, “Morays are cowards at heart. We don’t take a shot unless the shot’s guaranteed to be a winner. We wait…and then we go in for one clean killing blow. That’s how morays hunt.”
Floyd had issues with using his legs, at first, but now his human body lets him do things like basketball and dancing that he can’t do underwater.
When asked what it is that he likes about having magic, Floyd says that he’s glad it enabled him to come on land.
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Jade also used to struggle with his legs, and while he is more accustomed to them now, he is not the most skilled at flying (“I’m not nearly as bad as Azul”).
Floyd seems to be the most adept flier of the three mermaids, but when asked if he is any good at flying he says he isn’t sure: sometimes he is able to clear a flying obstacle in one try but other times he can't at all, such as when the task is to fly straight ahead at a set height, which bores him.
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Ortho (his interviewer) observes that his moods may affect his flight performance.
Floyd says that even when he isn’t in the mood to fly at all he is still better than Jade and Azul (Ortho says that he has come across data on how mermaids are often poor fliers), and that he was terrible when he first started.
But it was so thrilling that he would watch videos about flying and imitate what he saw.
Vargas has said that Floyd has improved faster than any other mermaid student, possibly because Floyd just isn’t afraid of flying.
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Despite their mutual struggles with flying Cater says that Floyd and Jade work so well together on the Spelldrive field that people don’t know how to counter them.
While there are many differences between the novel and game, Spelldrive might be similar in both: in the novel we learn there are athletes on foot during Spelldrive games.
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midnightstargazer · 1 day ago
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Anyone else get the feeling that romantic and platonic Moonwater have totally different vibes?
Yeah, me too. So I looked at the stats. The info below was found on AO3, November 3, 2024.
Rating
Romantic Moonwater is far more likely to be rated E. Gen fics with platonic Moonwater are far more likely to be rated T and less likely to be rated M. A higher percentage of the platonic fics are not rated.
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Archive Warnings
Chose Not to Warn is the most frequent warning for both, followed by Graphic Depictions of Violence - though this is nearly tied with Underage for romantic Moonwater. The least frequent archive warning for both is Rape/Non-Con. Romantic Moonwater is more likely to use No Archive Warnings Apply (45% vs. 37%) and is less likely to use Chose Not to Warn (33% vs. 40%).
Categories
Works in the platonic Regulus & Remus tag are not primarily gen fics focused on the friendship. The majority of works fit into one of the romantic ship categories.
M/M: 747 (76%)
F/F: 302 (30%)
F/M: 272 (28%)
Gen: 204 (21%)
Multi: 169 (17%)
Other: 56 (6%)
It's worth noting that while the vast majority of romantic Moonwater works had the M/M tag (sometimes along with others), about 9% did not.
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(looks like the ones that didn't are mostly multi, gen, or have no category tagged.)
Ships
Aside from Regulus/Remus or Regulus & Remus, the most popular ships tagged in these works are:
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(the list of ships was compiled by taking the top 5 relationships other than Moonwater from each of the following: Regulus & Remus, Regulus & Remus gen fics, Regulus/Remus, and Regulus/Remus with Jegulus and Wolfstar filtered out)
Aside from romantic Prongsfoot vs. platonic Sirius & James, there is not much difference in which ships co-occur with either version.
The biggest difference is that the romantic ship is far less likely to occur alongside any of these others. 78% of the platonic Moonwater works have Wolfstar, 60% have Jegulus, and 56% have Regulus & Sirius. By contrast, those numbers are 26%, 15%, and 11% for the romantic Moonwater works.
Characters
The most popular characters tagged were the same for both ships. Aside from Regulus and Remus, the top 5 were Sirius, James, Lily, Peter, and Barty, in that order.
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There were just under 1,000 works for both platonic and romantic, so the top of the chart is roughly equivalent to the total. Much like with relationships, even though it's the same characters, they are less likely to be tagged in works where the Moonwater is romantic. Barty is also more likely to make an appearance, proportionally to the other characters, in works where it's platonic.
Additional Tags
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There are some pretty clear differences between gen fic platonic Moonwater and platonic Moonwater as a whole. The former is less likely to have the friendship tag as an additional tag, and more likely to be tagged with Canon Divergence, Regulus Black Lives, and Regulus Black-centric. It's less likely to be a modern AU or to feature specific gender and sexuality headcanons. And, quite understandably, it's less likely to be tagged as smut. Angst, fluff, and Marauders Era are the most popular for both, though.
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The same three tags are the most popular for romantic Moonwater, but to a much lesser degree. As with other categories, there seems to be more variety in tagging with the romantic ship, rather than a small number of options being dominant. There is not much difference in tagging between the fics without Wolfstar and Jegulus vs. the romantic Moonwater fics overall.
(Note: the tags were chosen by looking at the top 10 in the Additional Tags section of the AO3 sidebar, but the numbers proved to be inaccurate, so I double-checked all of them by going into the ship tag and actually applying the additional tag as a filter.)
Analysis & Conclusions
Before I started looking into the AO3 data, my impression was that platonic Moonwater occurs mainly in the context of Wolfstar and Jegulus, and is usually portrayed as fluffy and wholesome, whereas romantic Moonwater exists more independently of the popular ships and has a tendency to be darker, more likely to lean into the Enemies to Lovers (or Lovers to Enemies) angle, and more likely to deal with mature content.
This was accurate in some respects. Very few platonic Moonwater fics are gen fics which focus on the friendship outside the context of a romantic pairing, and the most popular ones are indeed Wolfstar and Jegulus. It's also accurate that romantic Moonwater works are more likely to be rated M or E, especially compared to platonic Moonwater works categorized as gen.
When it comes to fluffy and wholesome vs. darker, my perception wasn't necessarily accurate. Platonic Moonwater fics are far more likely than romantic ones to be tagged with angst, for instance. What did prove to be the case is that there's a lot more variety in how romantic Moonwater fics are tagged.
I personally avoid Jegulus and seek out canon universe fics with morally gray characterizations of Regulus. Most likely, because I've been able to find fics that fit these preferences in romantic Moonwater, but less often in platonic, that skewed my perception of the ships as a whole.
Overall, though, looking at the stats has validated my feeling that the two relationships are different on a more significant level than just purely whether or not they're a romantic couple.
Google Sheets link to data
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